Halloween Treats and Sides

First of all - Happy Halloween to you all. I know you are all going to make the best of it, even if there is no MCack horror movie production this year. I really apologize for that, but you can understand the circumstances. Curse Northwestern if you need to - but homework forbids my making of horror. Sad.

But there is lots to celebrate. Caitlin and I partied it up with her boss who, as you know, LOVES HALLOWEEN. Her party was off the hook.

This is just one table of like 3 of amazing, catered treats. I took video of most of this, but she had deviled egg eyeballs, cocoa puff brains, peanut butter chocolate mice, guts....etc etc etc. All of it was delicious. You can see some of the goodness here. OH - she also had mummies in a blanket! COCKTAIL WEENIES! I love them. We brought DWo and LWo with us. As you can see, they dressed up like a shower and a woman getting ready to shower (as seen in the original Karate Kid).It was a great costume for being anti-social when you wanted to be. When you are ready to be social again, just open up. As a gag, many of us dressed up as Caitlin's boss, Shay. We were all different parts of her life. Above is "Work Shay."Caitlin was "Scary Halloween Shay," I was "Fitness Crazy Shay," and then there was also "Dog Rescue Shay" and "Pyro Shay." Shay is all of these things, and more.Carl, Shay's husband, was "Country Farmin' Shay." You can see Shay herself pictured here as the second person in from the right. Caitlin's costume involved awesome leggings with Halloween stickers on them.
Other people chose to not go the Shay route, as seen above.For example, these guys dressed up as a sting ray and The Crocodile Hunter. Classy!To add to the scariness of the night, we went around the "haunted forest path" that they had set up to scare kids at the party. Caitlin and I went out and scared people for a while. After about 5 hours of non-stop Halloween partying, we were ready to head back to Evanston. But not before the Wo's flashed one more camera-ready smile.

I hope everyone is doing something amazing for Halloween this year. High fives to all of you that have been to a corn maze, a haunted house, a horror movie (or 10?), a costume party, or an abandoned hospital. Beyond our partying, I also watched An American Werewolf In London, Friday the 13th Part 6, Mother of Tears, and Bram Stoker's Dracula. I hope to watch a few more, even though they will be out of season.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

The Constant Status of Learning

I am in college again. This means I am in a constant state of learning. Constant. (as a quick side note, I would like to report that I made my statistics post from a few days ago come true). With that in mind, we are constantly having people come to campus to talk to us about the "real world." The real world - it seems so magical.

Today we listened to someone talk to us about doing marketing for non-profit organizations. I kept thinking, "I wonder if there is a non-profit organization that supports all those starving artists out there who just want to make horror movies for a living. We brainstormed favorite non-profits, but none like that came up. Oh well.

It seems like non-profit has come up a lot recently (possibly because no one is making profit these days, even businesses?) My friend Erin mentioned something regarding CIGNA that she has been working on. They put up this game online for their Why Water campaign. Answer 3 correct questions and you provide clean water to a needy child for a day. GAME HERE. I can support something as easy as that...even amidst my many homework responsibilities. Besides, I can support any cause that makes Collin a star!

Uncanny Similarities

A while back my cousin Britt sent me a letter with a photo announcement that she had birthed another wonderful baby named Breanna. She is a really cute baby and we proudly hung the photo up on our door for a few months. During a visit to NYC, my mom noticed the picture and thought about it for a long while. Soon she said, "I think I have a very similar picture of you when you were a baby. In fact, I am sure of it."

Well, she finally scanned and sent me the picture. She was right - the similarity is uncanny.
Don't you think? I had a little more hair as a baby though. Congrats Britt!

Suck On Stats

Listen statistics. You are my biotch. I own you. DWo, LWo and I have worked hard enough for this test (pictured above in all our studious glory) and you are no match for our combined laptops. So stand aside, statistics. We are moving on, and we are taking our A+ with us.

My Powers

Potty humor warning. Consider yourself warned.

So our kitchen has a motion sensor that turns on the light when you enter. It usually stays on for about 5 minutes and then turns off if no one has been in there. A few days ago, while I was studying for statistics exam tomorrow, I was sitting at the kitchen table in the adjoining dining room with my back facing the kitchen, about 5 feet from the door. I had been sitting there for about 20 minutes, quietly working. Seeing as I was the only one home, I chose to fart without shame. I did, as loudly and with as much force as humanly possible...if anything, to amuse myself.

I did. Then the kitchen light turned on. I rule. True story.

Been There, Done That

Remember when Caitlin and I weren't married? Remember when she gave a seriously amazing gift for Christmas? Do you remember that it was a trip to stay in the Lizzie Bordon house with chaperones Doug and TamTam? You don't remember? Read HERE to remind yourself.

Well, Doug just sent us this article from the LA Times. All I can say is - been there, done that. Thanks Caitlin! I kind of wish our apartment was haunted.

Finally A Decent Reason

Considering how negative the press has been toward McCain and Palin, I figured I should throw the Republicans a freakin' bone. Below is video that was taken at the rally up in Wisconsin that Caitlin and I went to. I can only describe the 8 minutes that Wisconsin Representative Gwen Moore was singing about Michelle Obama as terrorism. It terrorized my ears until they nearly bled.

Choose Our Future Home

Yes, we live in Evanston. One thing that you just have to accept when you live in Evanston as a student is that you will never have the fantasy life that some of the Evanston people have. I don't care that I will have a pretty decent job after graduation. I just don't see how we can make the fantasy life come true. But Caitlin still holds on to the dream.

In fact, she already has picked out the houses that I can buy for her when I graduate. There are two I can choose from. They are actually quite different from each other. I appreciate that she didn't choose the biggest, most insane mansions in town. Which one do you think I should buy?This is the red house. We love the shape, we love the porch, we love the red. I personally love the windows. This house screams America to me, and its an America that I want to live in.

House number 2 is a little more gaudy and amazing, but lacks some of the quaintness that the red house has.

Yeah, I can buy her either one. Chump change. Can I borrow a buck?

Need a Job?

Dear Public,

I am willing to pay - and pay well - the first person to come up with a drug that can help me to NOT burst out in laughter when my professor says the word "we-ness." Don't take this lightly. It will take a strong drug, particularly when he actually defines "we-ness" as "everyone standing together strong, bound by a collective we-ness." We-ness. I completely break down...and I recognize that as a problem.

Thank you,

Side of Jeffrey

Bad News For Pooches

I have been passing the sign below nearly every day on my way to school. It sits prominently in a large park near Lake Michigan. Unfortunately, it carries some bad news for all the precious pooches of Evanston.

PLEASE ELIMINATE DOGS? I can imagine a really cantankerous old woman writing this sign. We must eliminate those dogs from our park! Their excrement and barking are not wanted here! I also love that dogs are equal to litter. I appreciate this sign because it makes me laugh every day. Watch out pooches.

I Have Met My Match

The place: The house of doom.

The date: Last Saturday

The reason: To fully comprehend how much Caitlin's boss, who I will refer to as "Goretastic" from this point on, loves Halloween

If you haven't noticed yet on our blog, Goretastic loves Halloween...but I needed to know how much. Fortunately, she invited us down to her house for dinner last Saturday. She has three dogs...all of which were dressed up. If you can't tell, that is a headless horseman on the dog's back.
The dogs walk around like they are forced to wear costumes all the time...and I believe that they really are.
Goretastic and husband (who is equally in love with Halloween) have spent the last 19 years collecting Halloween decorations and gory collectible items. Although I have only taken a few pictures, I cannot begin to describe to you how every single inch of there house is decorated with Halloween items. FROM TOP TO BOTTOM. I was in pure aesthetic heaven. Above, jarred heads and eyeballs.
These are actual paintings that hang in the house...potentially year round.

Who of you doesn't have a talking gypsy head in a crystal ball in your house?
After a scrumptious dinner of pizza and salad, we went out back to make s'mores in one of their fire pits. Above is Goretastic pictured with her son, Pimpalicious; coworker, Chill; and coworker's son, Chill Jr.
Pimpalicious has no problems with his parents' crazy Halloween love. In fact, I believe he had spent the entire day preparing outside yard decorations for their annual Halloween party. What a good sport.
That said, let us discuss the outside of the house. Goretastic has 2 1/2 acres on which she can spread bloody mayhem. Each year they have a huge Halloween party where they take people on a tractor ride through a tour of death and ghoulishness. Below are just a very, very small portion of the many awesome things included on the tour. During the party, there are human elements as well to help scare the children.

This blow-up man is anatomically correct, so they put on some pants and stabbed him to death.


I hate when this happens.

They also had a "Hall of Heads" with like 40 heads.

Michael Jackson was there.
So was George W. Bush...unfortunately he had an accident.

This one is a personal favorite.
Goretastic and I were attacked by bats as we went through the tour. We escaped...barely.
A well of body parts.
Alien operations are no stranger to their home.
And a Frankenstein that urinates into their pond.

When I say that this is just the tip of the iceberg, I am not kidding. There were so many amazing things that my camera couldn't capture adequately in the dark. Goretastic seriously puts her money where her mouth is when it comes to being a Halloween maniac. We watched some of my horror movies and had a fantastic night. I am psyched for the big bash in a few weeks! Expect a full report in November.

Stinky, Slimy Statistics

Probability of me understanding statistics = 64%
Probability of me punching someone in the nuts = 4%

But then try taking a look at the probability of me punching someone in the nuts GIVEN that I don't understand statistics for 3 hours on one problem. Suddenely you are bouncing up to a 99.2% chance of nut punching.

Yeah, I don't like those odds either.

More Delicious Gore

Caitlin brought me home a pizza from work - it was a present from her boss.Mmm, I can't wait!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

No pizza dinner is complete without finger fries and eyeball soda. As I said, this can only lead to amazing places. In fact, I have news to report that is a 10 on my scale of Halloween awesomeness that I will be blogging about later. Yes, it involves Caitlin's boss.

Bad Chicagoland Drivers Can Eat My Rights

I stand up and declare that we, Caitlin and Jeffrey, will no longer passively sit back and be acted upon; no, we are standing up! Standing up for our rights!

This morning Caitlin was on her way to work in No-Man's Land, Illinois (her commute is about 25-30 miles each way). Despite Caitlin's most excellent driving skills, some 20-year-old chick bumped into the back of our sweet, sweet Yari. Caitlin called to let me know that there was no damage, but she was not down with people hitting our car. I concurred. It was at that time that I knew we needed to declare our Yari Ownership Bill of Rights:

Yari Ownership Bill of Rights

1. We have the right to drive Yari where, when, and how we may at long as it does not infringe upon the same rights as other drivers

2. We have the right to enjoy a perfectly un-scathed Yari for a minimum of 5 years into ownership

3. We may park within one block of our apartment regardless of time of day

4. We do not have to park behind the guy with the scratched up car (because we don't like his track record)

5. If Yari is raped or violated by another vehicle, we have the right to kick the driver in the genitals or booty (depending on gender)

Five simple rights that we request Chicagoland honor, or else.

Besides - why would you want to hurt Yari? He is way too cute to shoot.