25 February 2011

Baby Playa

Max is straight kickin it wit his chicks Beks and Mals.

He sippin on carrot juice...LAID BACK! (with his mind on his diaper and his diaper on his mind)

24 February 2011

5am to 5:45

Last night I had a dream. I dreamt that I was on a plane and we were flying to Disney world. It was myself, Caitlin, Bek and Mala and our energy level was high and a song was in our heart. Suddenly, our plane began to malfunction and we began plummeting to the ground. Our captain got on the intercom and reassured us that it would be alright. There was something familiar about his voice, but I was too scared at the time. Caitlin grabbed my hand and told me that if "i don't like my situation, change it. If I cant change it, change my attitude about it."

As we hit the ground, there was no death and no pain...just a smooth landing. The words, "please collect your belongings and have a great day at Disney World" came over the intercom.

As we exited, we noticed there were hundreds of other planes and thousands of people all gathered around ours. The exit to the cockpit was actually a stage. We learned that everyone was waiting for our captains to exit for a performance on American Idol! The doors opened and out walked Scottie (one of our current landlords) and Jessie from Full House! They performed that song from Chicago from the movie Karate Kid 2 and the crowd went nuts...especially Mala and Caitlin.

They say dreams are a window into the soul or life or something. I guess that pretty much captures what my life is about this week and weekend. It really does.

22 February 2011

The Biotchitudes, a Series of Cursings

Today in church we learned about the beatitudes...a series of blessings given by Christ in the Bible to those people whose demeanor or spirit or actions or whatever lead would them to a specific blessing, most often in the afterlife. These beatitudes seemed to contrast directly with another set of behaviors and, consequently, curses that I dreamed up over the weekend. I call them the Biotchitudes.

The Biotchitudes are a series of cursings that follow the behavior of nasty skank hos and bros that surrounded us at the beach on Saturday. The Biotchitudes are as follows:

The poor in driving skills and cutting me off; theirs is worthy of my middle fingers.
The severely drunk; they will be smitten with pukage all the nights of their days.
They that talk about oral sex in front of my one year old; they will have their genitalia destroyed by my hands.
Those whose voices penetrate my ears while I'm napping; theirs is a swift kick to the jimmy.
Those whose Frisbees nearly smack my kid in the head or my tender shoulder; they will get pantsed.

The make-outers; they will lick fecal matter.
Wearers of skimpy suits that don't cover their fat rolls; their eyes will be molested like mine have.
The users of the f word as noun, verb, adjective and past participle in one sentence; they will inherit a fart in their mouth.
The packs of 19 year olds; they will obtain an STD for their existence on my beach.

I hope you never find yourself a receiver of the Biotchitudes curses. If you do, you need to not be so lame...or find another beach.

20 February 2011

Oh Yes There Is Love

So I may or may not have got all gushy last month over James Blake when I did my top 10 albums of 2010 post. Well, you aren't going to read anything different here so if you already think you don't like his music just skip this post as well.

James Blake produced some of my favorite music last year in a series of excellent short albums, all of which were rich in style, sound and theme. For that reason I have been so very excited about the release of his debut full length album in February. I waited until the second it was released and then purchased it immediately without sampling one single song. I know, I live on the wild side.

Anyway, I was blown away by what I heard coming out my earphones that day. Here was an album I was not expecting, even though the progression of his previous music had been leading me there the whole time. This album is solidly based in Gospel and soul, but with a signature dub step twist mixed with James' sharp and interesting vocals that he has proven a master of mixing in albums like Klavierwerke.

Needless to say, it is awesome and I can't get enough. One listen and I was sold. While there are certainly some stand out songs (the Wilhelm Scream, a completely stunning cover of Feist's Limit to Your Love, Untold), the whole album functions best as a whole - something I love about Blake's music. It is also an album that covers a more universal audience than previous works. Caitlin likes it and so does Judes. I strongly recommend your purchasing this album.

Speaking of love, Caitlin made me a fantastic dinner for Valentines since we babysat for some friends so they could go out (Judes gave us an amazing night out on Friday where we had dinner and saw The King's Speech).

Heart shaped pizza and raviolis?? What! Dope...

Red juice. Love was strong, stomachs were full.

18 February 2011

Goo Goo, Ga Ga Over FoLa

Fort Lauderdale is a pretty darn decent town. Sure, it's no big city like New York or Chicago. The streets on week days are relatively empty save for the few business men or women who actually leave their offices for lunch. But on weekends it really comes alive with people and if anything, it's always good for a nice walk.

Max can hang with his grandma and spot some more birds that he loves so much.

We can walk up the river in the sun without coats.

And I can take pictures of eccentric ladies sitting on park benches by the concert hall. We thought these ladies were so funny so I asked them if I could take a picture (but not without being dared first by Caitlin).

We went over to the kids museum where all of Max's dreams come true every time he goes. This is a huge ball maze thing that is outside the building.

Is Max entranced? What do you think?

Strangely, that day was Pacific Islander day in the museum. What luck!

I tried really, really hard to get this old woman to lay me. lai me? Laia me? Whatever...the point is that I wanted to get laid and this old woman wasn't willing. Come on!

You'll notice Max and Caitlin did not get laid either. But they saw some cool drumming!

Max is loving animals recently...including gigantic lobsters.

But still, his true love is climbing and exploration. The museum has a whole section of tunnels and stairs and such that Max goes goo goo, ga ga over. Here he is climbing steps.

Oooooh! Bright lights...

Baby tractor! Don't be fooled by the lack of smile here. This is serious business. I dare you to try and take Max off this tractor. He will let you know what he thinks about that quickly.

Tiring for grandmas and parents alike.

They have an orange tree that grows and drops these plastic oranges. Max just likes to throw them in the bin. You have to be careful though because this is where the big kids play and it can get pretty rowdy and competitive.

Tunnel work.

Spider web climbing work.


Yep mom and dad, this is the place for me. Thanks again Judes for coming out on a dime to save us and have fun with us. Max hasn't been the same since you left.

17 February 2011

Max Is Not Gator Food

Scene from a movie?

Midwest plains? Nope...the Everglades! More specific, Shark Valley! I am not sure why it has this name because sharks had nothing to do with the animals we were seeking out last Saturday. I am also not sure why I just used so many exclamation marks!

We were definitely on the search for wildlife...like birds.


More birds...

And yet even more birds!

Yes, we were also on the lookout for turtles swimming in the water everywhere we turned.

But we were searching for something else, and we would need the sharp-shooter eyes of Judes to find it. Only she had the skills to see what we could not see at first glance.

Yes, we were searching for gators. And Judes kept finding them. Can you see the gator above?

It was a pretty cold day in Florida, something like 50 degrees...so the gators weren't basking in any sun. But we still found em!

Max had a great time with the wildlife - he was especially interested in the birds. He could just sit and stare at them all day. When we would walk away he would start yelling and reaching to go back to the bird.


While the gators were not abundant the day we went, it made finding them all the more exciting. Every time Judes would spot one the Japanese tourists would come biking over at amazing speeds to snap pictures.

Bird in flight. The books are right, this is not easy to accomplish.

For those of you who have never been to the Everglades, you should go. I think the landscape is diverse and beautiful. It really served well as a backdrop for this picture of me, Caitlin and Sling Dion.

It was a pretty cold and windy walk back to the car. Max was fine, he just kept his eye on the birds and a Nilla Wafer in his mouth at all times. Should I be worried that Nillas represent 72% of his diet? The doctor says no.

Back at the parking lot we gave Max a solid half our to just crawl around and play. He had an hour plus car ride home ahead of him. He got himself some milk (anyone who knows Max knows how amazing it is that he is drinking something that isn't in a boob).

He crawled over people, a favorite pass time.

He played with his ladybug bean bags and flirted with old people at the National Park.

And he generally just enjoyed the freak out of himself. He's so coot.

On our drive back we stopped for Yogurtland and Thai food! We finally found a decent Thai place in South Florida. Yes, it felt good to be out and about enjoying the great outdoors again after our more indoorsy two weeks of recovery. Judes made it better with good conversation about music and making dreams come true.

16 February 2011

Help Was oh So Necessary

You may be wondering why we needed to have Judes come out and help us last week. Well, apart from the fact that I am an invalid and Caitlin had salmonella food poisoning (yep, it's official...the tests finally came back and she got questioned on all her restaurants for the past few weeks), how hard can it be to keep up with calm, easy little Max. Well, let's catch you up on what he is all about these days.

Max likes to climb on, in and through anything he can...including up and down stairs. Somehow he got up on our couch and then from there onto the side table. He really must be watched very closely these days because he hasn't been burned enough to know that it dangerous to try and drop yourself head first off the bed.

The kid loves all things that have wheels and seeks out any car or push toy he can. He made grandma Judes push him around on his little car at home for hours in our apartment building hall.

He also likes to lock himself in bathrooms and then get into the closets and stuff.

Finally, he loves our 6th floor balcony. While I am sure the balcony is secure and there is no way he can get through or over that fence (yet), it still freaks us out when he finds his way out there alone. He just stands and waves at all the cars and people, yelling "bye bye" to them all.

So yeah, my little arm could only do so much with the dude. Caitlin did get better and we did do some fun stuff that I will share later.