Habits

I have had a Code Red Diet Mountain Dew every work day now for about 10 weeks. There is something wrong with that - but I'm not changing until my internship is over.

Hey Jerk Face

Hey Jerk Face that stole my bike last night - I'm going to find you and I am going to kick you in the genitals. It is going to hurt...and while you are coughing and grasping for air, I'm going to grab my bike back and ride it home in the sunset. I might also flip you off as I ride away. NO - I'll two hand flip you off and scream "Look dude, I can ride with no hands!"

Oh man, these revenge fantasies really need to stop.

P.S. Dear woman or man who stole Caitlin's work phone today. Same goes for you. You are dead.

Davis is Dos

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This is my boy Davis. He is by far one of the cutest kids on the planet. You have seen him on this blog before, but you are seeing him again because last Saturday was the big 2. They grow up so fast. Jenna and Dennis had a bday party at the Lincoln Park Zoo for precious Davis. Not only did he get a cake shaped like an elephant, but he got this zoo keeper outfit equipped with a key on his belt. Amazing. Lots of great friends came to support Davis' big day.A big part of the day was riding the carousel. Caitlin supports and instructs during this wild ride and Davis was super pumped. You can also see precious Hannah on the far right with Megan.
Just in case you didn't catch that, here is Hannah. There is a chance that she loves us. Sorry Jeremiah - it is true...but trust me, not as much as she loves you.
More photo opportunities were created. Lets be honest though - they really just wanted to go see the monkeys.There is a chance that little boys love monkeys and all other animal creatures.

Eventually, this ape got a hold of Davis and attacked. He was extremely calm though. He's a zookeeper - he knows how to handle these situations. Happy Birthday Davis! You rule - and enjoy your truck!

The Full Poppy

Welcome everyone. I would like to introduce you to Poppy. Caitlin and I went in for the ultrasound a bit ago, and this is who they introduced us to:Pop dog. So precious. There is the precious little baby head.

And look! Precious little baby hand! Four fingers...we hope there is a thumb in there somewhere. I think that black circle down on the right is the stomach.More Poppy profile pictures. Do you think Poppy has my terrible nose?
And who can resist precious baby feeties? Fetus feeties really.Did you know the spine is fully developed at 20 weeks? Look at it! A spine of beauty! Hopefully Poppy doesn't take after his/her parents and have a totally jacked up spine by age 20.

This is what the doctor called the "Halloween shot." I think Poppy knows how much I like horror movies, so my child gave me a freaky skeleton face shot. Thanks child of mine. And finally, the moment we all were waiting for: Me thinks I see a penis. Yes I do. Just so we wouldn't miss it, the doctor made sure to draw an arrow and right "boy." As if I would miss that manhood. That's my boy! Only one problem - now we have to stop calling Poppy Poppy. We are in mega baby boy naming mode here and could use all of your suggestions.

Thanks Popp...I mean, baby for giving us the full frontal! I would expect nothing less from a Mulcock boy on camera.

Don Julio Cumple Muchos Anos

There are few events in this world that would justify attempting to make a cake shaped like a sombrero. The 5 de Mayo might be one. The other one would be Don Julio's triumphant birthday party last Saturday. To celebrate, he decided to have everyone pick up Taco Bell and bring it to the park to eat and go ape shiz on a pinata. Yes, it was cool.
Patrick sits proudly behind his creation. Okay, he wasn't beaming with pride. He had intended to create a sombrero hat cake, but it kind of turned out to look like a woman's derby hat with raspberry's. While we waited for Taco Bell to arrive, we discussed how we could have made the had more authentic. Learnings people. People started to arrive - and with them, precious Davis. Don Julio brought together about 20 people from school and church. Co mingling and food eating occurred, until disaster struck and the balloons floated into the trees. Fortunately, I was there to save the day.

And then it was pinata time. Here is the introduction.


And its on. Chris was the first to attack. While he didn't do any "real" damage, he loosened the lid so to speak.

Lest ye think we are wimps, just know that we take pinata busting very seriously...especially when there are 3 big prizes involved.Birthday boy Don was the master of puppets. Don certainly worked me over with his skills. I swung many a time, and missed as many as I swung.Patrick was equally without success, though he did get a decent wallop or two on that sucka.Caitlin carefully calculated her swing, but she knew that don was no dummy. She anticipated his evil-doings, and took her chances by swinging at a different spot then where she had discovered the pinata.BOOM SUCKA! Don't stand between a pregnant woman and her candy!!!! Serious damage was done...but it still needed some more bashing.

Lauren, your skills defy gravity. In the end, the pinata met its doom. We all instantly morphed into 5 year olds and I found myself pushing a little kid out of the way so I could grab another Nerds or Runts or something. I made out big time.Cake time! This cake ended up being freakishly delicious.27 years old and he's still got it. Nice lungs Don. Caitlin and I got busy doing what we do. Good luck guessing what that is.Games were played and bonding occurred on all fronts. Caitlin practiced her mothering skills with surrogate child Davis.And Don got busy being a kid on his birthday by playing with his new toy truck. Happy Birthday Don. What would I do without you? Probably go to Taco Bell alone, which would just be plane sad.

Planiterroriam Meets the Mulcocks

Pam, Beesquee and the Bodge came to visit Caitlin and I this last week to learn about the gender of the Poppy (more on that later). When people come, we try to celebrate by eating tons of food until we feel sick and puke. Here is what I mean.Breakfast at Orange in Lincoln Park. Squeebles got eggs and cheese and spinach and such.Bodge got cinnamon roll pancakes of deliciousness.
Me? I got the pancake flight with that day's theme of "chocolate." Dark chocolate, white chocolate, milk chocolate - and then one with a mix of all three. Divine.Pam's was my favorite though...eggs with pesto and cheese? What? From there we went down to the Adler Planetarium to learn about space.The night sky exhibit taught us everything we wanted to know about visible constellations in Chicago at 9:30 pm. We were mezmorized!And Squee was OVERJOYED with JOYNESS!

Later we went to astrology school as they did in the days of Galileo.

I was pretty jealous of the outfits they got to where back in astrology school. The cloaks went well with my cut off shorts and toned butt.

Pam and Squee the Tyrants ordered my death for telling them that the world was round. Their ignorance brought to end my short and miserable life as a peasant with extreme universe knowledge.There were all sorts of games to be played to help learn. For example, here I try to determine whether it is going to be a good rainy season in Peru based on the location and brightness of the stars/moons.I was particularly excited to see Atwood's Sphere. I mean, who wouldn't be. Eric, have you seen your sphere?Atwood's sphere was impressive. You can go inside and it simulates what it would be like to see the night sky with all the stars correctly placed.
Pam - what do you see? Are you a Peeping Pam with that gigantic telescope? Needless to say, we learned ridiculous amounts about space. Did you know that Vega is part of the summer triangle? Do you even know what Vega is? Man, you better go to Adler and get yo head checked.
Requisite Chicago photos as taken from the planetarium.

Breast Ad Ever

I feel bad for anyone who is trying to "do it all" (and I quote). Fortunately, Easy Expression makes this amazing product. If any of you are looking for some early baby shower gifts for Caitlin...just don't let them milk you for all you're worth.

Quick Video Part 2

So the other day my friend decided that he wanted to enter a chance to be on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire. Honestly, I can't think of many people who would be better at that game then him. He has more ridiculous knowledge going on in his head then anyone I know. In order to enter, you had to submit a video that said why you would be good at the game and what you would do with the money you win.

This is what we came up with in the short hour we had to shoot and make this video. I make a large cameo in this. Also, the idea is a shout out to a story from Scott Henneman's mission as well.

The Teeth Ghetto

You may be asking yourself - why does Jeff have a picture of some ghetto home on his blog? Well, there is a good reason. This is the site of Beefsquee's new job. But wait? Isn't she a dental hygienist? Yes, yes she is.This is what it looks like inside. While the outside is bleh, the inside is super awesome. Michelle works here 3 times a week and has her own little bedroom office in the house. I really like places like this...not the cookie cutter, stuffy dental offices of today. Congrats on finding such a cool place to work squeebles.