I love being a parent in the day time. I thing I do a pretty good job. My days as the father of Max are filled with joy, happiness, patience, kindness, fulfillment, caring, fun, comfort, contentment, peace and obviously love. I never imagined that it would be so amazing.
Then the night comes and Max goes down to sleep. Until morning my nights are filled with fear, anxiety, frustration, self loathing, indecisiveness, sadness, pain, guilt, sympathy and questioning. In the inevitable event that Max wakes up at least once at night, I lie awake going through all those emotions trying to decide what to do...what will be best for him. Does making him cry all night until he falls asleep make sense? Some say yes. Does getting up after 20 minutes to ensure he isn't sick make sense, and risk him getting into a pattern of waking up for comfort every night? Some say yes. Does sleeping with him until he's older and can establish better sleeping habits make sense? Others say yes to that.
There is no answer, which is why it's sad and why I pray every night that that will be a night where Max sleeps all night...
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9 comments:
You need to watch Supernanny. She has the answers to these questions...and they work every freaking time.
I have seen Supernanny. Her ways are often right...because she can happily edit out all the parts that don't work or any lack of success in her tactics.
And her ways are often agressive...which doesn't take away any sense of guilt or concern.
Are you sure this is Jeff and not Caitlin posting? J/K that is so awesome that you are involved in the sleep decision making.
You may have tried this, but my thoughts were always if they get what they want every time they cry, there's no reason for them to stop. Maybe instead of going cold turkey, try responding more slowly each time - like 20 minutes, then 25, then 30? Especially if it's a habit where you can tell he's crying for you to come and not because something's wrong. And when you do go to him, gradually stop picking him up and instead give him his blanket or stuffed animal each time so he can learn to calm himself down by grabbing for those. But only you know your babe. I have no idea if those things will work for Max or if you've already tried everything in the book. White noise? I'm sorry guys! I feel your pain.
Yo ellen, thanks for the advice. Max has been doing much better the last few weeks. My post was less a commentary on Max specifically and more on the change of becoming a parent. I think nights just become a different thing for the rest of your life with kids - from them waking up constantly for one thing or another through infancy, random phases as toddlers, to worrying about them at night as teenagers. Whatever happened to looking forward to a good night's rest? Its a small price to pay to have kids though.
This is where sideofmulcock just got a bit more serious!
The other day a girl in our court was almost in tears because she doesn't know how to get both kids to sleep through the night. Despite her almost tears, I couldn't help but start laughing almost hysterically...we aren't known for having kids that sleep well or choosing the right way to get them to sleep. Lucy is 20 months old and ends up in our bed EVERY SINGLE NIGHT at some point after midnight. I did reassure her that my seven year old sleeps through the night though. Kudos to those who figure it out (or win the luck of the draw, either way). Our best purchase though was a king size bed...room for them all.
Oh, that. Yeah, you never sleep the same again. Sorry, it's gone.
I second the king size bed as there will come a day when your child will be MORTIFIED to sleep in your bed and as for the running commentary in your head during the wee hours, I have the same problem. The best way I deal with it is to ask myself if I am doing the best for me and my child. Even if I'm not a perfect parent according to anyone's else's standards, I want to be the perfect parent for my child...that's why Heavenly Father sent me these spirits, right?
3 things:
#!: I am so sorry about your arm. That just sucks.
#2: Taco Bell party--how do you guys already have more friends in Florida in 2 weeks than we have in California in 6 months? JEALOUS.
#3: Regardless of Max's sleeping schedule or anything else, that boy is going to turn out amazing. For one, he is Max and just inherently great. Secondly, he gets to have you and Caitlin for parents--he pretty much hit the lottery there.
We miss you guys.
Holy rumination Jeff. While it is true that you never sleep the same again (note: I haven't slept for 36 years now), you need to relax a little. Either way you handle this, Max will never remember it. I am more of a moderate myself, but as I already told you, I didn't let you kids sleep in my bed. Parenting isn't a perfect job. You will absolutely make numerous mistakes.
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