Oh balls! The Horror!

You may not know this, but I think about horror movies about 40% of each day's 24 hours. Given that I sleep 8 hours a day, that means I'm thinking about horror movie concepts about 7 hours a day.

That said, I came up with an amazing concept as inspired by a recent picture I saw and a conversation with bro-in-law JayCrazay (okay, Jeff). Here is the concept: The film is based around a kids play land. You know the kind - I think the one in Boise was called the Fun Zone. It has all the gym stuff and tunnels and, of course, huge plastic ball cage. Years ago a child suffocated in the plastic ball cage because the teenage workers were too busy flirting/making out with each other.

Now some time has passed and the Fun Zone has reopened. One night, one of the teenage workers invites his girlfriend to the Fun Zone after it has closed and they decide to romp in the balls (awesome). While making out they are attacked and killed by a messed up, scary-as-all-crap little kid with some sort of killing mechanism. You can imagine the artsy violence I could concoct in a sea of colorful balls. I love contrasting happy things with death.

Well, the owner covers it up because he has already invested too much money in reopening the place and can't afford to lose the money. More deaths occur until it comes down to one crazy day of death and the secret ending is revealed in an awesome showdown between a hero I have not quite figured out yet and the kid.

Sound familiar? Probably because you have seen Friday the 13th and this is nearly a exact copy of the premise. But who cares? Horror movies aren't about original plots...they are about original and awesome death scenes, skilled scare tactics, and pure fun.

Want to see the photo that inspired the movie?

I originally thought Max should star as the evil kid...but I think he might make a better victim. I mean - look at the horror! (also, how awesome is it that he is screaming his brains out...but strategically holding onto two green balls?). I think the killer baby should be the scary baby hiding under the balls in the background that you probably missed. Look again, closer.

All I need is someone to bankroll this. Who is in?

Paranormal Movie Watching Activities

Last night we kicked off October right by hitting the Red Robin and then watching The Eye. I know, not the scariest of fares - but a horror film nonetheless and one we enjoyed. As we began to discuss what movies might be of interest to us this month, an exciting new film came up.

The film is Paranormal Activity. Have you heard of this film yet? If not, start by watching the trailer:

Directed by no-name Oren Peli, the film cost a mere $15,000 to make and has no major special effects, gory blood, or other of the basic Hollywood horror crutches. It was a Slam Dance film in 2008 and was picked up to launch in 13 college towns. Then they basically launched a word-of-mouth campaign where you can request the film to be brought to your town. Based on how many people request to have the film in their area, they will open it up in your town. So now it is in New York City. It just opened in Chicago last night. It is not open in Washington DC - apparently they don't like horror movies enough.

Its crap like this that makes me idolize the Sam Raimi's and Peli's of the world. I have $15,000. But could I make this film? Most likely not. But I value someone who can make you scared by simply understanding what scares the shiznits out of people. That is what a movie like The Eye missed. They think darkness, or loudness, or blood in-and-of-itself is what scares people. I think those things help, but when grounded in true human fear. Let's be honest, you don't want spirits messing with you in your bed in an intimate, real-life scenario. You really don't.

One movie I probably won't be able to see this month, unfortunately, is Scare Zone. Its been circulating around film festivals - but I don't think it has been picked up yet. I love the concept.

This is going to be a great month.

Its Time...

I'm freaking out. Its October 1st...which officially starts horror movie watching season. I honestly cannot believe it is finally here. I am fully determined to get some good horror movie watching in this year, even if it means I have to watch them alone. I have only seen two horror movies in 2009 so far (they were humdingers though - I highly recommend them both: The Strangers and Drag Me To Hell).

So I am going to correct this problem. I think I'll start tonight. Some movies I really want to see are The Descent, Scare Zone, some movie my friend Jason mentioned that sounds amazing. I also need to bring in some classics and maybe a solid foreign horror. I have one from China that is supposed to be super rad.

Heaven. Are they any good ones coming out? Has anyone seen any good ones?

Did I Scare You?

Well, it has been quite a while. I think it is pretty apparent from my sparse blogging and lack of activity that school has started up again and I've got lots of junk going on. While I have full intentions of reporting on my trip to Idaho (where I had several exciting burgers to discuss), I did want to first talk about my arrival home. Caitlin came and picked me up from the airport and we drove home. I hadn't seen her for four days and it was great to be back to her. As we got home, Caitlin ran to the bathroom as is customary every time we come home (thanks to pregnancy bladder).

It was my fortune that I did not saying anything improper because as I rounded the corner about 30 people charged out of the dark with masks on and yelled HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Yep, Caitlin got me good. Real good. I had no idea. Most of my closest friend in Illinois had made it out to celebrate my ridiculous aging.I must first report about the cake. Yes, the above mummy is a cake. Don and Patrick seriously spent about 2 days inventing and crafting this cake from scratch. They started getting into cake making several months ago and each party is another chance to step it up a notch. This took it to the ultimate notch.

Seriously - this sarcophagus has Egyptian writing on it. It was massively impressive.I was immediately crowned birthday boy of the party and handed a delicious Mountain Dew. It was a position I proudly held for the rest of the night.
When Caitlin and I were in WI we bought this cupcake holder. It worked perfectly for holding my German chocolate cupcakes. They were so amazing. Caitlin has found the wickedest GC frosting recipe that blows my mind.Heather and Chris were there, fresh off their own west coast vacation.

Patrick and Alex represented hard core as well. Seriously Patrick, that cake blows my mind.

Trevor and Lyndee (sorry, I might be spelling your name incorrectly) worked it to the CORE. Don showed off his parenting skills by holding Ella for a while. As you can see, she was loving it. Okay, she really was fine until the very last moments there when I snapped the picture. Maybe it is me she wasn't diggin'.

Also representing the youth was my boy Noah. This kid had the moment of the night when he got super pissed at Don for taking his balloon. DO NOT MESS with this kids balloons. He will freak at you.

Adam and Don kick it peace style...something they picked up from our Asian friends at school. Not pictured were many other amazing peeps like Scott and Ellen, Jeremiah and Megan, Alissa and Matt, Lauren and Jason and more. Thanks everyone for showing up and remember that my birthday is all about horror.