Hey Jerk Face that stole my bike last night - I'm going to find you and I am going to kick you in the genitals. It is going to hurt...and while you are coughing and grasping for air, I'm going to grab my bike back and ride it home in the sunset. I might also flip you off as I ride away. NO - I'll two hand flip you off and scream "Look dude, I can ride with no hands!"
Oh man, these revenge fantasies really need to stop.
P.S. Dear woman or man who stole Caitlin's work phone today. Same goes for you. You are dead.
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Sure...it increases your calorie intake. But adding a side of Mulcock to your life is worth growing a ghetto booty.
3 comments:
Really....your bike and Caitlin's phone?? I would be FURIOUS!!!
That's why I don't even bother leaving the house. I keep everything here in my personal fortress!
Why do you talk about the tragedy of your bike and phone – but not of you backing your car into a pole in the same week? Is it because there are no thieves to blame for that one?
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